This Roller Coaster Ride We Are On

Saturday morning we work up to this.

We were shocked. Last month we didn't get a positive ovulation test until day 29. Saturday was only day 16. To say we were excited would be an understatement. Ali reacted as I would imagine she would if someone told her we had just won the lottery without even playing. Except it was better, because it meant this making a baby thing was becoming real. We were really going to do this. A positive test on Saturday would mean that our first IUI would be on Sunday. This was PERFECT. The Red Sox weren't playing, so we would be able to find parking in Boston. We wouldn't have to miss a work day. We'd have it done before going away for our mini-adventure next weekend. It was great.

Then we did the thing that you're not supposed to do after you have a positive ovulation test. We tested again. Only 2 hours later (they are supposed to be at least 4 hours apart). It was negative. We proceeded to test 3 more times, 4 hours apart, all negative.

So we panicked.

This maybe TMI but ovulation generally comes what they call egg white cervical mucus. There was none. So that paired with the negative tests lead us to google, and to thinking that perhaps we had a false positive test. We were pretty stressed most of the day, and even went as far as doing an at home cervical exam (which didn't tell us much of anything, since I'm not a trained medical professional  and all the you-tube videos in the world can't teach you that).

So we did what any self respecting women who really wanted a baby would do. We bought a microscope. We heard that when you were ovulating your saliva looked like ferns. So we bought it, and we checked Ali's saliva, and sure enough. Ferns. We got a bit of our excitement back...but still weren't totally convinced that this was the right time.

We called the health center and asked them to call us back regarding our appointment. The nurse who called back asked all the right questions and consulted with the medical director of the program and called back and said that the program was designed around positive tests, and if we had one we should inseminate.

So we made an appointment and headed to Boston, with a mix of emotions. Wondering if this was the right decision. If we were wrong, we were out $1000. If we were right, well....we may have made a baby.

We got to the health center and the nurse was incredible. She was amazing at explaining every detail to us as it was happening. She looked at some of our swimmers under the microscope (we assume a better one than the $14.99 version we bought at Toys R Us the previous night) and said it was a really good sample. (AND it was donated on my birthday, which can't be a bad sign!) When preparing for the insemination she said it looked like it was actually a good time to inseminate. She made us feel hopeful, which was great. Once she got everything set up she asked if I wanted to push the syringe. That was pretty exciting, and Ali says that now when she's in labor she can yell "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" and it will be true.

The nurse left the room and told us to enjoy some family time, and we did. Including reading this great book recommended from another blogist. It's about a little boy who plants seeds and then there is a lot of waiting and hoping and wishing, and wondering what is going on underground where you can't see it. It was pretty fantastic.

Then we ate at this great little Thai place that we found near the clinic, that we have eaten at every time we've been down there.

On our way home we MAY have stopped at Target to buy a pregnancy test (or 5). You can never be too prepared.

And now we wait. Waiting, I'm positive is the hardest part.