Doctor's Office Dilemma

This week had a routine appointment with my allergy and asthma specialist, the first one since my name change, the first since my wedding. When she enters the room the first thing out of her mouth is an enthusiastic “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting married?” Followed by all the questions you would expect from a friend you haven’t seen in 6 months who just found out something life changing has happened. She wanted to know when, and where and all the details. Though, all of her questions where amazingly gender neutral. I recognize this kind of talk because it’s how I used to talk about Lou before I wanted people to know that she was a she. I figure the doctor is being cool and progressive by not assuming that I have a husband. 

And then, it happens. She asks if we are planning on having children.  Because this is currently one of my favorite subjects to talk about I excitedly replied “Absolutely.” And because she is my doctor she replied “Let me know before you get pregnant so I can adjust your medications.” Oh, right. She assumes that I’m going to be carrying my child.

Then in a split second I have to decide, for the first time, do I out myself at the doctor’s office? I know I should have. I know I WILL. But at that moment I was so caught off guard that I simply said “ok.” It felt icky, and slightly dishonest, but I panicked.

 

I think that businesses should have some sort of signs on the door that let people know if it is safe to say

“Actually, my wife is going to be carrying our baby, so my meds should not be an issue!” In college there were upside down triangle stickers on doors of professors, staff, and offices alerting students of places where it was cool to be true to your self. This is a great program, and I only wish that it could be implemented all over the world, so I could know in advance how providers and businesses would treat my little family.