We're Trying

We were at a get together a couple weeks ago with some work folks; a good bye party for a beloved member of our staff who is moving on to a new adventure. This was an "invite only party" and amazingly we were surrounded by people that we really liked, and enjoyed being with. (Generally my philosophy is to skip work related functions that I'm not getting paid for, but this night was pretty fun.)

Anyway, we were talking with a man who works for another program in our agency. I asked him about his 2 year old daughter and he gushed. It was pretty awesome actually. Then Ali asked "did I hear you were going to have more children." To which he replied, "Yes, we're trying, I mean, we're having sex."

I have two thoughts about this:
1. Yes, even though we are both women we do know how straight people make babies.

2. Have you noticed how no one EVER talks about how they are trying to get pregnant? Maybe it's because for fertile heterosexual people it's a private, intimate act (sex) that makes a baby....It's just strange to me that people generally don't talk about it.

I've been thinking a bit sense that night about what we share and how we share it. I think what's important is that we have control over our own information. Most of the time before we go to Boston to inseminate we let a few people know, and are encouraged by their "You can do it!!" messages. However, last time we were uncertain about appointment, and we kept it to ourselves. I didn't post about it over a week later, mostly because it seemed exhausting to write it all out, without any feedback.

Many people know we are trying to get pregnant. However, we are hardly ever asked about it. I realized this after we went to Boston a couple of weeks ago, and we sat down and chatted with Ali's mom and sister about what happened, what usually happens, why we didn't inseminate, and how frustrating it all is. It was sort of like letting out a deep sigh to have some people listen, and say "Hey, that really stinks." It made me wonder why we haven't really had these conversations with other people. Yes, this is a personal adventure we are on, full of ups and downs, but if you are here on this blog and you know us personally, it means we love you and we trust you enough that we've let you into this adventure with us.

Feel free to ask us about what's going on. Seriously. This is a stressful, emotional, sometimes frustrating thing that we are doing. We've told you because we want your support. We want to hear your excitement. We want your hugs. We want someone to say "that really sucks." Not just hear on the blog (though that's cool too) but also in real life. On occasion we may not want to talk about it, and we might tell you. That just means it's not a good time, and not that you should never bring it up again. It seems like maybe culture says "It's weird to talk to people about making a baby" but it seems weirder when people know about it, and don't mention it. So go ahead, ask questions, be sympathetic, hug freely. We won't mind. (AND it won't be too awkward, because we won't say anything about sex!!)